Toxic people? How to stay focus
Do your entourage have toxic effects on you?
I have set the table in my previous post about the mindset. I’ve wrote about the no so positive effects that your surroundings can have on you and your dreams and goals. Is this Quote new to you that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with?
I hope this statement will sound drastic to your ears. I truly wish this phrase will sow a seed in your mind. I look forward that you will begin to be conscientious about the people you will interact in your life.
What’s going on with the persons around you right now? What about the ones you will meet in the future? Are they are inspiring you or they are pulling you down? Are they positive thinkers or get fed by negativity? Are they problem or solution oriented? Do they want to learn from their mistakes or blaming the world for their lost? Do they simply talk the talk without applying anything they said?
I’m pretty sure that you don’t need to look very far to recognize those persons… Maybe I’m describing you… Too many times it’s a relative or a close friend. They are the first to judge and give wrong advises. They wants your attention and then complains about their own situation. Here’s my advice here: RUN AWAY, put both hands on your ears and erase from your mind everything they’ve tried to teach you!
Keep in mind that you can’t change the past. But you can and should definitely learn from it Learn form your good and bad moves. Fill up your toolbox to start making today, tomorrow and the rest of your life way better than yesterday!
In the right mindset post, I’m exposing a true example about a person who was sharing her life with someone that was sabotaging her efforts to lose weight and save her life.
Fact; No, you can hide and always avoid everybody that may have an negative effect on your day, week or even your life. Sure, you can always try to do your best to keep a distance. And one way to minimize the influence of all « toxic » is to keep yourself ahead of them and the situations.
For me the most effective way to do it , is by creating a morning routine. I do believe that establishing your own little ritual will keep you in the positive state of mind you deserve. Take the test tomorrow morning. Set the alarm 15 minutes earlier. Instead of focusing on your cell phone / emails / social medias or any outside sources of interactions, take this time for yourself.
Maximize this 15 minutes to get an edge from all the situation that will eventually come to you. By situations I mean « distractions/ discussions/ requests « . This could come from your partner… or if you’re like me: KIDS… Yes, those lovely creatures with the capability to put you in a multi-tasking mode in less than a minute! Every parent knows this feeling!
If you don’t relate to this example, I’ll make it worst… No highlighting with the ones you love and care about!
So how do you prepare yourself to face those unpredictable situations? What’s going to happen to you when you go out there and face the world? Think about how badly you’re going to get smashed by all the grumpy people around you?
Go deeper now. Imagine if you were surrounding by toxic people? Enough to lose your focus and drain out your batteries. This is way more then you need to get badly influence and start feeling the negative pressure. From an amazing peaceful morning when the sun in shinning, or getting inspired by the light and refreshing sound of the rain.
You’ll sound more like: « Finally, the sun’s out. But I’m working inside all day ». « It’s always like that. The nice weather always when I’m working. » Or « shitty rain, anyway here it’s always like that. The worst part that’s just the beginning and soon it’s going to be snow everywhere!! »
Just writing those lines were almost to heavy for me and I won’t dig more into “How to recognize toxic people”. If you want to Google it, you’ll find endless results and images about the subject!
For me, there’s 2 ways to live your life. You can react to situations, feel like you’re in a middle of a tornado and try to catch your breath simply to survive, or act smarter by being proactive and make yourself ready. Meaning that, you don’t deal with the consequences or the collateral damage,
Yes, you can try to control everything that’s going on outside of you. You can concentrate your energy to analyze everybody around. Then decide if you keep them in your close circle or not. Oh man! This is a pain in the ass job to do!
Or you can act different and choose to work on yourself. The goal is to create a peaceful and focus state of mind. You build your own personal garden. You create the right smells, the perfect colors, your perfect little place. This is a place where you feel invincible. Do everything as possible to see the world thru the eyes of a child. They live to learn, they’ll do anything to share a smile. They are in the moment Right Now!
Like I told before, this all starts with a personal morning routine. A time that you don’t bother about anything that’s going on in the outside world. Some will meditate, some will do Yoga… others will simply wake up earlier than everybody else in the house and enjoy their cup of coffee. Today I don’t really put the importance on the « task » it self. But I do give all the importance about the action of taking the time to do it.
Those peaceful morning moments will give you an edge before you jump in your « responsible / adult life ». This small edge his enough to keep you moving forward when your interactions with others will tend to go in the wrong direction.
Simple physique; It is always harder to stop something already in motion than something static! So, keep yourself moving and ahead of every situation. The heavy and negative people or situations won’t stick to you. Even if you slow down, you’re still going forward. I’m promising that at the end of the day you’ll have done more, with less energy. At this point you’ll realize how important that small edge from a great morning start was!
How do you set the table to embrace your morning routine?
Remember this: Never starts your day until it is finished on paper. (Jim Rohn).
A morning routine is something you prepare the night before. You want to set the environment the way you want. If you’re doing yoga at home per example, set the room with everything you need. Unroll your mat, set the ambiance, fill up your tea. Prep your clothes… Do everything that must be done to avoid any thinking or unpleasant situation.
Looking at your cell phone, even to sneak out, can totally destroy all the benefits of that special moment!
If you’re living alone this is way easier because you don’t have to care about anybody else. If you have a family, your partner should be in the process as well. Not by doing the same activity if not willing, but at least to cover up for you.
Yes, you can learn, grow, expand and apply the same “night before” routine for every aspect of your life. I can and will write a full post about it, so I’ll save this for later.
One thing sure, by setting your morning routine, you will now have the awesome benefits of being couple steps ahead from everybody. You will also be in a proactive mode. You will be able to still move forward, keep the focus and be less or not even affect by negative people and negative situations.
I hope you’ve enjoy the reading and you’ll start planning your own morning routine!
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